Monday, July 19, 2010

Muggings, Musicians, and Marvels

So I got mugged in San Francisco this weekend. I was walking through the 1200-1400 section of Market Street at 2 AM. Probably a mistake. While giving a beggar some change, a few dollar bills fell out of my pocket, which he quickly told me to pony up. I basically blew him off, and said "Hey man, I gave you change, that's all you're going to get."

Two blocks later I felt a knife blade pressed against my back and I heard him say "How 'bout the money now?" I quickly turned around and gave him the 7 dollars in my pocket. Then he said, "Ok, now the wallet." I had about 120 bucks in my pocket, so I threw the money on the ground and ran down the street. Luckily, he didn't chase. He just stood there counting my money and laughing. Cackling. Fucking thief.

I'm ok, just a little ticked off. Overall, giving up my money was a lot less expensive than getting stabbed would've been (Oh the joys of having no health insurance). Not to mention, I would've been stabbed. And that would have been a pretty shitty way to spend a couple extra days in Frisco.

So I stayed up the rest of the night, went to IHOP, slept in the car. I woke up early Saturday afternoon and went to Guitar Center on Van Ness to buy some picks and strings. Whilst passing the time playing guitars, I started playing a banjo. And I fell in love. So I bought it - I now am a proud owner of a 5-string banjo.

Oh, by the way, I also met Neil Diamond in that Guitar Center. He walked in, and a few people flocked over to him saying "Oh my god, you're Neil Diamond!" I walked over and said hello. He was a cool dude.

The road beckons, more later.

T-Minus 7 days until we hit the Canadian border.

Tom

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Be Sure to Wear A Flower In Your Hair

It's July in California. You know California - you see it in all the movies and TV shows, and thus you know that summertime in California is Mustang convertibles full of buxom blondes with their hair blowing in the hot summer wind.

WRONG.

San Francisco is freakin' cold. Like, 50 degrees, foggy, windy, cold. Walk around the city at 2 AM after a late movie freezing your ass off cold.

We left Fresno sometime earlier in the week (The days are blurring together somewhat), and arrived at Yosemite National Park. Lizzie's knee has been pretty weak, so we decided not to do some of the strenuous climbing that we had initially thought we would do. We took a few short hikes, saw bears in our campsite (BURRRS), and had a good time. Yosemite is insanely beautiful, and would've been one of our favorite parks if not for the BILLIONS of people that mobbed the place. We definitely could've done without the crowds.

After a botched attempt at camping (Let's put it this way - almost all campgrounds at Yosemite were full. The only open one was 5 miles down a pot-holed filled gravel road, and the only available campsite had a pair of abandoned hiking boots on the table that creeped us out to no end), we stayed the night at a motel in Modesto, before moving on to San Fran.

We've taken San Fran as a veg-out weekend, although this city is EX-PEN-SIVE, and it's easy to get yourself in a lot of trouble if you're looking for it. But there's also a lot going on too! Saw a Mary Gauthier concert, went to a Giants game, and have been exploring the city. Barry Zito threw a 2 hit shutout of the Mets. There is almost nothing I enjoy as much as seeing the Mets lose. Tomorrow we head north along the coast to Crater Lake National Park in Oregon.

In 2 weeks we'll be in Alaska. The pull of Alaska is getting stronger. May the road go on forever.

Tom

Monday, July 12, 2010

From Vegas to Fresno

Hello all,

To get this out of the way: LINKS FOR PICTURES

Southern Utah:

Zion National Park:

So as Lizzie described, we last talked to you all from the Sahara Hotel and Casino in shiny Las Vegas. Vegas is basically an extravaganza of sin, sex, and neon. We had a pretty low-key Vegas experience, which is to say we only indulged in three or four hookers each....

Prior to the Vegas, we spent a couple days at the Grand Canyon. Day 1 was mostly walk-around-the-rim, set up camp, eat some food stuffs, gaze at the sunset and be mystified. Day 2 we decided to do an evening hike of the canyon. My naive self thought maybe we could make it all the way to the river at the bottom. I WAS WRONG. We got three miles into the canyon, and while the sun was setting, decided to head back up to the rim. Turned out to be a good thing, because I got a horrendous nosebleed about halfway up.

But we didn't get back up to the rim until after midnight, and on the path there were FOUR, count-em, FOUR elk just sleeping. It was so dark, we almost stepped on them. And they are some big mother-flipping aminals. Yeah, that's right, I said aminals.

Anyway...after Vegas we drove through Death Valley National Park, a bizarre array of purple rocks, white salt flats that glimmered like water, and 124 degree temperatures. No joke. 1-2-4. It was hot hot hot. I think the car liked it even less than we did, as we had to keep close watch so she wouldn't overheat.

But we made it out of the desert and up into the green pine-tree covered mountains of the Sequoia National Forest on Friday evening, where we camped for a rest day on Saturday. Saturday morning I left camp to drive down the mountains to get food and supplies in town. While driving, I came across two young hikers thumbing their way down the mountain. I pulled over and picked them up - their names were Evan and Jocelyn, and the three of talked bluegrass and hiking all the way into town. Both of them were super cool people who had lived all over and done a lot of cool hiking trips. They're currently on a hike on the Pacific Crest Trail from the Mexican border northwards (their blog is pctsouthbounders.blogspot.com - check it out!)

We got supplies in town, and then the three of us drove back up the mountains, where I invited them to spend the night at camp with me and Lizzie. Evan and Jocelyn obliged, and we had a great night sharing food and music. When we woke up the next day at 8 am, they were long gone, heading back on the trail.

Yesterday morning we drove to Sequoia National Park, home of the big trees of the same name. Four of the five biggest trees in the ENTIRE WORLD are in this park. Words can't really describe the gargantuan beauty of the trees, so y'all will just have to wait for the pictures.

Today was spent exploring the park, and now we are in Fresno, California at the Manchester Shopping Center while Gracie (car) gets her oil changed. Fresno looks like the filming location for all those mall scenes in Terminator 2 and Kindergarten Cop and whatever other Arnold Schwarzenegger movies took place mostly in malls.

Tonight the road will hopefully take us to Yosemite, and then on to San Francisco in a couple days. Probably no internet for a couple days, so catch y'all on the flip!

Love,
Tom

Thursday, July 8, 2010

my darlin, clementines,

VEGAS BABYYYYY. let me (YIPEE! Lizzie! can't you always tell?) just say for those who weren't sure: vegas is sex. everywhere.
all the magazine stands,
the billboards,
the streets,
tom and i like to people watch and play "hooker, stripper, or party girl?" (HSP) (this is in addition to FKM, tourist or townie, map games, and phase 10)

i think maybe from my posts you may have the wrong idea about me, like i'm all about HS and P. well, that's pretty far from the truth.

the road has many gifts. and vegas came up to me with one last night as i was sitting on the rail at the bellagio waiting for the fountains that were over, or something like that.

two armenian women came up to me out of nowhere as they were strolling with their family to tell me my aura was good and energy strong. i was a warrior in a past life and all that jazz. lots of happy good stuff. all things probably anyone would want to hear. and i have two guardian angels. and that october through december will be good. well, lets hope so friends. i mean, i dont take much stock in palm readings, but it was the pep talk i needed.

i been down about the whole breakup. yada yada. cried a couple days at the grand canyon. and like i said to tom and my sister, he was my last foot on the ground. and now im really free and independent which sounds great, just takes a hard swallow of courage and big decisions. and of course i miss him, seeing as he was my best friend for the time. it's tough because theres no anger, no regret...just having to move on.

we lose so much on the way, ehy? and oh, all those fucking love songs.

the good news is...two more songs have emerged on the trip! (one just finished in the hotel bathroom in vegassss. tom said he feels like a rockstar.)

the bad news is that i really hurt my knee and its hard to walk and shit.

hopefully by alaska all this will sort itself out. you heard me, ALASKA!

and the grand canyon hike was pretty awesome, as i'm sure tom will tell.

its been nice to have my own bed and enough private time to masturbate. orgasms are so great, aren't they?

well, gosh, we gotta get goin to see girls dance on boats. also free concert tonight at the rio. which classic legend, you ask? HOOBASTANK!!!

on that note, i shall sign out for another while. yours,
stankini Liz

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Legend of Ben Powell

How do I even begin this story?

Well, at the beginning, I guess.

About ten days ago, Lizzie and I were driving through a small mountain town called Ridgway, Colorado. Outside a Shell station, an old, grizzled cowboy-looking dude started chatting us up. He talked about how he had hitchhiked through New Hampshire many years ago, and told us some of the cool spots in town to hang out. He had long curly blonde hair that cascaded out of his cowboy hat, and he wore dark sunglasses. Wearing a Bob Marley shirt, he yelled at me "Hey man, you look like a young Jerry Garcia!" His teeth were gone, but his kind heart shone through.

We forgot about him fairly quickly. Until the Fourth of July.

We heard that the town of Page, Arizona had beautiful fireworks over gorgeous Lake Powell, so we decided to go there for the Fourth. Driving through town, we spy a man on a street corner with a sign that reads, "Where's the Love? 4/20". As we approach, I recognize him as the man from Ridgeway and I yell "Holy shit, it's the guy from Ridgeway!" He and I make eye contact and it is clear that the recognition is mutual. I immediately pull over.

We jump out of the car, and all of us say "We can't believe it's you!" We all introduce ourselves. I ask him, "What's your name?" He says "Ben." I say, "What's your last name, Ben?" He says, "You ever heard of John Wesley Powell?" I say, "Of course, he was one of the first explorers of the American West." Ben then put out his hand and said, "Well, I'm Ben Powell, one of his descendants. Pleased to meet you."

We proceed to spend the next six hours with Ben, trading stories and sharing beers. Ben, now almost 53, told us of how he has been living on the road since the age of 15, traveling across the country, never living in one place too long. He had picked mushrooms in Idaho, worked in bars across the west, lived in Alaska, Texas, and every place in between. He told us about hippie hot spots across the country where you can "meet some of the really cool-ass people. If there's any left, what with all this anal bullshit going on today." People he didn't like, he considered "anal". People that were ok were "way cool".

Ben wore his heart on his sleeve, telling us multiple times that he loved us and thanking us just for taking the time to spend the evening with him. He made mention several times of needing just a couple beers and a smile, so we bought him a case of beer. Ben told us that he knew a good spot to see the fireworks, so we all piled on into my car, and we followed his directions to a hotel parking lot directly in front of where the fireworks would be shot off.

Ben talked about loving the coyotes and how they would never hurt him, but then talked about a night where the coyotes almost ate him. He talked about a night that a bear ate all his peanut butter and then shit all over his tent. He told us that he suffered from CRS (Cant Remember Shit) and told us about FLRs (Funny Looking Rocks). He hated technology, but had a cell phone because he said he had to. He was writing a book called Bars and Saloons Across America, Women I've Never Had, Your Dog is Gay, Get Off My Leg. I'd read it.

Ben talked about women he tried to hang on to, but was unable. He talked about being woken up at 3 AM by the cops, but not to be hassled; instead, the cops just wanted to be sure he was ok. He told us that another homeless friend of his had been beaten to death by local kids the year before. He talked about his two brothers he lost in Vietnam, and about all the good and bad people he met on the road.

Despite being white himself, he had a general contempt for most white people. He said his true brothers were the natives, the Navajo. He spoke to them in broken Navajo, attempting to speak their language. Once we got to the motel parking lot to watch the fireworks, two Navajo men named Tom and Fabian joined us. Tom was an old shepherd who had fought in Korea, and played the most amazing harmonica I have ever heard. The old man put a Navajo blessing on my harmonica, saying "I have given your harmonica my voice. May you always be blessed."

Fabian was a man probably in his late-30s who had proudly served in the United States Army for five years and clearly loved his country. All of them were good men.

After singing a bunch of old country songs with the old cowboy, Ben and us parted ways in the parking lot, as both of us went looking for a place to camp. This blog post does not even come close to really capturing the essence of this man, but I hope it gives you an idea.

Ben, if you ever read this, may your road go on forever and the party never end.

Love to all,
Tom

Southern Utah: Red Rock Country

Hello all!

Sorry for the long gap between posts, but Internet is hard to find out here in the desert. Today, we are at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, using the wi-fi available in the public library here. The day's plan includes what should be a spectacular evening hike into the canyon. We've got our flashlights and our headlamps ready to climb out; look for more on that later.

What have we done for the last week? Uhh...let's see. Last Wednesday we camped at Bryce Canyon National Park, which is essentially an amphitheater of huge red rock spires jutting towards the sky. We didn't spend a great deal of time there, as we wanted to have as much time as possible at Zion National Park, my personal favorite of the parks.

We arrived at Zion thursday morning and promptly set up camp. To access Zion Canyon, visitors have to board a free shuttle bus that runs throughout the day. We took the bus up into the canyon and hiked to Weeping Rock - a huge sandstone slab that literally weeps (rain falls on top of the plateau, and works its way down through the rock until it comes cascading out in a waterfall). The water that poured out of the sandstone had fallen on the plateau above 800 years ago. That's how long it takes to get through the sandstone - way cool stuff.

That night we had dinner with my father who happened to be in the same neck of the woods on vacation. After dinner, we made smores back at camp and got ready for our big hike the next day.

On Friday morning, Lizzie and I decided to go hiking. We picked a "strenuous" hike out of the hiking guide that led to Angel's Landing, that was described as having "steep, narrow sections with long drop-offs on both sides. Not for those uncertain of heights". We figured that it couldn't possibly be that bad....well....it WAS that bad. The trail started easily enough - it was paved for the first two miles, up a long series of winding switchbacks. This was tough uphill climbing, but not particularly scary...

Then stuff got SERIOUS. The switchbacks deposited us at Scout's Lookout, a viewing platform that looked straight ahead at Angel's Landing. The trail to reach the top of Angel's Landing climbed at a 45 degree angle up a very narrow ridge that looked impossible to climb. Lizzie being fearless, she led the climb up the ridge for many sections. Some sections of the path were only two feet wide, with 800 foot drop-offs on both sides. Some of these sections had a chain to hold on to for support; many did not. There were many moments were I simply clutched the rock and whimpered, with Lizzie prodding me onwards.

After what seemed like a death-defying eternity, we reached the top where I kissed the ground. The view down the canyon from the top of this cliff was truly one of the most unbelievable sights I have witnessed. SO worth it, despite my terror. Amazingly enough, the hike down did not scare me at all, although Lizzie was not too pleased with the huge vertical drop-offs.

Saturday we spent a fairly relaxed day at camp, although Cayli and I did a night hike to the Emerald Pools, a series of freshwater springs cut into a cliff face. Although a beautiful hike, it was significantly less scary than the Angel's Landing hike.

And then there was the Fourth of July. But that requires a blog post all of its own.

Love and peace from the road,
Tom

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

In The Abyss, Where No One Can Hear You Scream...

Dead-tree sunset at Mesa Verde National Park. Photograph by Lizzie.

Good morning!

Today finds us in Blanding, Utah where we splurged on a hotel for the night. Not out of any desire for comfort, but rather out of a desire just for basic safety. More explanation on that later.

On Sunday, we explored both Arches and Canyonlands National Parks near Moab, Utah. Canyonlands is pretty much exactly what it sounds like - a wild maze of canyons forged by the Colorado and Green Rivers. The land here is so rugged it gives one the sense of being on Mars. There is no civilization here, just Mother Nature. Spooky stuff.

Arches was one of the highlights of the trip for me so far. The park is named for the large rock arches that are prevalent throughout the park. The rock formations in Arches are other-worldly. The rocks are a dusty red in color, and look like aliens shaped them. A totally different world than the green tree-filled woods of New Hampshire.

Monday morning we left Canyonlands and, after stopping in Moab for showers and laundry, made it to Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado. We got into the park near nightfall, and so did not have a lot of time to explore. Although, we did make it to the Visitor Center where we met ranger Byron Parker, one of the coolest mofos around. We also caught the sunset through a forest of dead trees (dead from a series of forest fires that ravaged the park)...it was incredible.

Tuesday we took tours of two of the cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde. The cliff dwellings of the ancient Ancestral Puebloans that inhabited the area until approximately 1300 AD are the main attraction of Mesa Verde. To access them, one must take a ranger-guided tour down the cliff face. On some of the tours, this involves climbing a 32 foot ladder, squeezing through a tunnel barely bigger than your body, walking up narrow steps cut into the cliff face with nothing but the abyss behind you......it's terrifying/exhilarating. Mesa Verde = great park. Strongly recommended for anyone looking for a little adventure.

And then.....there's last night. We left Mesa Verde, and began driving towards Capitol Reef National Park in central Utah. We noticed on the map that Gooseneck State Park was approximately halfway between Mesa Verde and Capitol Reef. We arrive in town, which is a sparsely populated Navajo reservation town, and take the side-road for Gooseneck. The road twists and winds for 7 miles through the desert, until, almost without warning, you arrive at the park.

The only indication that we had arrived was a lonely, decrepit sign that says "Welcome to Goosneck"...and THATS IT. There is a gravel circle, and nothing. No ranger station. No information booth. No camping area. No park. Just a lonely bathroom and this abandoned set of picnic tables and swing sets. I shone my lights around the circle, looking for signs of a proper park, and we saw only empty abyss. Emptiness everywhere. I say, "Man, what should we do?" and Lizzie yelled "WE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!"

We hopped back in the car and sped away towards town. We were so creeped out that we couldn't even stay in town, so we drove 50 miles north to the next town, which is how we ended up in Blanding, Utah.

But we're alive. And that is a welcome relief.

More later,
Tom

P.S. - Here's the link to all the pictures from the last week. Enjoy!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Over the Mountains, Across the Desert, To Utah We Go...

Lizzie and I atop Molas Pass (11,000 feet!) in The San Juan Mountains, Colorado.


Hello again,

Tonight the road finds us in McDonald's in Moab, Utah, mooching on their free wi-fi. We've set up camp for the weekend along the banks of the Colorado River a few miles outside of town in a gorgeous red-rock canyon with steep walled cliffs.

We left Santa Fe yesterday morning and drove north into Colorado, over the San Juan mountains into Grand Junction, where we picked up Lizzie's little sister, Cayli. We explored Arches National Park briefly before sundown, and have a lot more exploring of the park to do tomorrow.

I'll keep this brief - the plan for the upcoming week is as follows: (We don't know exact dates, but here's a rough outline) - We'll be hitting Canyonlands National Park, Arches National Park, Mesa Verde National Park, Monument Valley, Capitol Reef National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Zion National Park, THE GRAND CANYON, and Las Vegas. That takes us through the next ten-eleven days. Many more pictures to come!

Hope everyone's summer is going great,
Tom

P.S. More pictures from the road!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Night in the Desert

The Alamo. Don't Mess With Texas.


Hello again!

It's 6:40 am, I just slept 4 hours of very poor sleep, and we have an 8 hour drive ahead of us today, so I'm going to make this fairly quick. Any spelling errors...blame it on the sleepyness.

Monday morning we left Austin to investigate San Antonio, TX. Despite earning ourselves a $30 parking ticket for an expired meter (it was only a few minutes! grr), San Antonio was an early trip highlight. We first walked to Alamo Plaza and spent time learning about/discovering/exploring the Alamo. This was way cooler than I had expected.

After a much-needed ice cream break (If you ever find yourself in Texas, pick up some Blue Bell ice cream. It is UNBELIEVABLE), we hit the riverwalk area and were blown away. The river walk is essentially the shady, tree-covered string of restaurants, hotels, art installations, etc, that line the San Antonio River. Definitely one of the most beautiful things I've seen in an urban environment.

We went into the Hill Country west of San Antone and floated the Frio River. The river was running a little shallow, so there were some parts where we had to get out of our tubes and walk. However, it was still a beautiful float through the canyons, and a great way to spend a hot summer afternoon. We were definitely beat by the end, but a hot meal and a shower got us back on the road.

We spent the next million hours driving through the desert of West Texas. I've seen desert before, but this was something else: almost complete desolation. There'd be a town of a thousand people or so every 80 miles. Life is a different thing entirely out here. The landscape is beautiful in its desperation. This was Lizzie's first foray into the desert, and she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

We landed for the night at Guadalupe Mountains National Park/Carlsbad Caverns National Park along the Texas/New Mexico border. We saw the flight of the bats from the caverns on Tuesday night - unfortunately picture taking was not allowed, but believe you me - seeing a swarm of several hundred thousand bats silhouetted against the dusk....it's an unforgettable image. Wednesday morning we went down into the caves, and were amazed at their depth. Cavernous is the only word to describe it - it was like being on the coolest Disneyworld ride of all time. One of my favorite national parks that I've been to, it was something else.

We're currently in Santa Fe, a town filled with art galleries and artist types, etc etc etc. We found a great restaurant called The Pantry that might have the best chocolate cake in the entire world. No joke. It's that good.

Momentarily, we are headed north into the Colorado mountains to arrive at Grand Junction, CO, where we are picking Lizzie's younger sister Micayla up at the airport. Caylie has apparently become jealous enough of our trip that she has decided to join us for a leg of it! She'll be road adventuring with us for about the next ten days or so, as we wind our way across Utah, culminating at the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas.

Internet-wise, I'm not sure what the week ahead holds. Hopefully we'll be able to find internet access somewhere, but we are heading into some pretty serious high desert country, so there may be a few days to a week of radio silence. But fear not! We'll have more pictures and stories for you soon .

Love from the road,
Tom

P.S. I sat on a cactus at a Guadalupe Mountains National Park whilst setting up the tent for the night. Lizzie had the supreme honor of pulling the multitude of thorns out of my ass cheeks. It was an inspiring and glorious test of the limits of our friendship. Also: it was just plain hilarious.

P.P.S. Here is a link to pictures from Austin, TX to Santa Fe, NM:

P.P.P.S. Here is a link to pictures from Bonnaroo (You may need to copy/paste it into your URL toolbar):


Monday, June 21, 2010

tootsies (PG 13)

hello citizens, countrymen, and other general refugees and expats.

why does everyone play the weight?

soooo ten things I (lizzie...I see your face getting excited) have learned on the trip and things i have not been convinced to learn:

1. Nachez trace=treez. not actually that exciting. most roads usually are smooth and have trees anyway. in mississippi, this is so rare it is their main attraction. but this is way better than industry and red lights.
2. there is NO reason to make a penis go in circles. (handjob lesson number 1. and there was a banana)
3. bats come out at night. key word night. its hard to see small, fast moving black things in darkness. you know who you are.
4. supposedly, when you dont know where you are or where you could be, you should take the road you know won't lead you through danger. I'm not really sold on this one. I enjoyed the 7th ward, other than the dogs.
5. tom's car doesnt have automatic locks, but it does have automatic lights. duely noted.
6. don't leave your wallet in gas stations if you dont want to drive ten needless hours. but if you do need to leave your wallet somewhere, paki-owned gas stations are fairly reliable.
7. semen tastes like guiness. well, joes does. reportedly.
8. 50 cent is gay. so says rufus. and did/does not know what a grapefruit is. so says aziz.
9. the south is hot. like sweaty hot. and sunburn hot. purple nips!
10. two things i shouldnt have said in nola: "I'm so white I'm black" and "The Saints can suck my big, black d***k." fuck it, dick.
11. Where are the black people in Austin? It just seems wrong.
12. Nola has shitty pizza.


the blog is not rated G!

I've had more wine in the past two days than...well...since passover. which isnt really saying much, since i never drink. almost never now i guess. i dont think the road has gotten to me yet. i think lots of desert will do me some good. and a few more lost nights. im so lost that im not quite lost enough. i guess at this point most people would take some kind of drug. or maybe all you need to do is watch fear and loathing in vegas like 100 times. same thing.

oh, update on the books: I read the Post Office by bukowski. good times. in book terms.

i would tire of austin too soon.

ive been sick over a week now, despite stomaching nasty nast thera-flu.
and my sister is a high school grad!
tom wants to be able to speak our language. i think he just may.

until next time, poppets!
-the queen of armpits