Over the Mountains, Across the Desert, To Utah We Go...

Lizzie and I atop Molas Pass (11,000 feet!) in The San Juan Mountains, Colorado.

Hello again,

Tonight the road finds us in McDonald's in Moab, Utah, mooching on their free wi-fi. We've set up camp for the weekend along the banks of the Colorado River a few miles outside of town in a gorgeous red-rock canyon with steep walled cliffs.

We left Santa Fe yesterday morning and drove north into Colorado, over the San Juan mountains into Grand Junction, where we picked up Lizzie's little sister, Cayli. We explored Arches National Park briefly before sundown, and have a lot more exploring of the park to do tomorrow.

I'll keep this brief - the plan for the upcoming week is as follows: (We don't know exact dates, but here's a rough outline) - We'll be hitting Canyonlands National Park, Arches National Park, Mesa Verde National Park, Monument Valley, Capitol Reef National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Zion National Park, THE GRAND CANYON, and Las Vegas. That takes us through the next ten-eleven days. Many more pictures to come!

Hope everyone's summer is going great,

Tom

P.S. More pictures from the road!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=438732&id=685610345&l=74e0e3e0d0

Night in the Desert

The Alamo. Don't Mess With Texas.

Hello again!

It's 6:40 am, I just slept 4 hours of very poor sleep, and we have an 8 hour drive ahead of us today, so I'm going to make this fairly quick. Any spelling errors...blame it on the sleepyness.

Monday morning we left Austin to investigate San Antonio, TX. Despite earning ourselves a $30 parking ticket for an expired meter (it was only a few minutes! grr), San Antonio was an early trip highlight. We first walked to Alamo Plaza and spent time learning about/discovering/exploring the Alamo. This was way cooler than I had expected.

After a much-needed ice cream break (If you ever find yourself in Texas, pick up some Blue Bell ice cream. It is UNBELIEVABLE), we hit the riverwalk area and were blown away. The river walk is essentially the shady, tree-covered string of restaurants, hotels, art installations, etc, that line the San Antonio River. Definitely one of the most beautiful things I've seen in an urban environment.

We went into the Hill Country west of San Antone and floated the Frio River. The river was running a little shallow, so there were some parts where we had to get out of our tubes and walk. However, it was still a beautiful float through the canyons, and a great way to spend a hot summer afternoon. We were definitely beat by the end, but a hot meal and a shower got us back on the road.

We spent the next million hours driving through the desert of West Texas. I've seen desert before, but this was something else: almost complete desolation. There'd be a town of a thousand people or so every 80 miles. Life is a different thing entirely out here. The landscape is beautiful in its desperation. This was Lizzie's first foray into the desert, and she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

We landed for the night at Guadalupe Mountains National Park/Carlsbad Caverns National Park along the Texas/New Mexico border. We saw the flight of the bats from the caverns on Tuesday night - unfortunately picture taking was not allowed, but believe you me - seeing a swarm of several hundred thousand bats silhouetted against the dusk....it's an unforgettable image. Wednesday morning we went down into the caves, and were amazed at their depth. Cavernous is the only word to describe it - it was like being on the coolest Disneyworld ride of all time. One of my favorite national parks that I've been to, it was something else.

We're currently in Santa Fe, a town filled with art galleries and artist types, etc etc etc. We found a great restaurant called The Pantry that might have the best chocolate cake in the entire world. No joke. It's that good.

Momentarily, we are headed north into the Colorado mountains to arrive at Grand Junction, CO, where we are picking Lizzie's younger sister Micayla up at the airport. Caylie has apparently become jealous enough of our trip that she has decided to join us for a leg of it! She'll be road adventuring with us for about the next ten days or so, as we wind our way across Utah, culminating at the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas.

Internet-wise, I'm not sure what the week ahead holds. Hopefully we'll be able to find internet access somewhere, but we are heading into some pretty serious high desert country, so there may be a few days to a week of radio silence. But fear not! We'll have more pictures and stories for you soon .

Love from the road,

Tom

P.S. I sat on a cactus at a Guadalupe Mountains National Park whilst setting up the tent for the night. Lizzie had the supreme honor of pulling the multitude of thorns out of my ass cheeks. It was an inspiring and glorious test of the limits of our friendship. Also: it was just plain hilarious.

P.P.S. Here is a link to pictures from Austin, TX to Santa Fe, NM:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=437927&id=685610345&l=b5d8c0a44b

P.P.P.S. Here is a link to pictures from Bonnaroo (You may need to copy/paste it into your URL toolbar):

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=433997&id=685610345&l=eb96e9c1a4

tootsies (PG 13)

hello citizens, countrymen, and other general refugees and expats.

why does everyone play the weight?

soooo ten things I (lizzie...I see your face getting excited) have learned on the trip and things i have not been convinced to learn:

1. Nachez trace=treez. not actually that exciting. most roads usually are smooth and have trees anyway. in mississippi, this is so rare it is their main attraction. but this is way better than industry and red lights.

2. there is NO reason to make a penis go in circles. (handjob lesson number 1. and there was a banana)

3. bats come out at night. key word night. its hard to see small, fast moving black things in darkness. you know who you are.

4. supposedly, when you dont know where you are or where you could be, you should take the road you know won't lead you through danger. I'm not really sold on this one. I enjoyed the 7th ward, other than the dogs.

5. tom's car doesnt have automatic locks, but it does have automatic lights. duely noted.

6. don't leave your wallet in gas stations if you dont want to drive ten needless hours. but if you do need to leave your wallet somewhere, paki-owned gas stations are fairly reliable.

7. semen tastes like guiness. well, joes does. reportedly.

8. 50 cent is gay. so says rufus. and did/does not know what a grapefruit is. so says aziz.

9. the south is hot. like sweaty hot. and sunburn hot. purple nips!

10. two things i shouldnt have said in nola: "I'm so white I'm black" and "The Saints can suck my big, black d***k." fuck it, dick.

11. Where are the black people in Austin? It just seems wrong.

12. Nola has shitty pizza.

the blog is not rated G!

I've had more wine in the past two days than...well...since passover. which isnt really saying much, since i never drink. almost never now i guess. i dont think the road has gotten to me yet. i think lots of desert will do me some good. and a few more lost nights. im so lost that im not quite lost enough. i guess at this point most people would take some kind of drug. or maybe all you need to do is watch fear and loathing in vegas like 100 times. same thing.

oh, update on the books: I read the Post Office by bukowski. good times. in book terms.

i would tire of austin too soon.

ive been sick over a week now, despite stomaching nasty nast thera-flu.

and my sister is a high school grad!

tom wants to be able to speak our language. i think he just may.

until next time, poppets!

-the queen of armpits